Does your email address resemble this guy's? You might be Native American

10 Ways to Tell You Might Be Native American

Vincent Schilling
1/29/14

Most of us have heard the famous Jeff Foxworthy “You Might Be a Redneck…” jokes. But why should Foxworthy get to have all of the fun? We as Native Americans deserve the right to hear some stereotypical satire, which also happens to merit the truth.

In this lighthearted way of looking at ourselves, here are 10 Ways to Tell You Might Be Native American.

If you own a shirt with an eagle, a wolf or an Indian on it…You might be Native American

If you get up right now and walk to your closet, or look in the hamper or for some, just look in the mirror, you will see a shirt with an eagle, a wolf or an Indian on it. Heck, you might even own a shirt that has all three. Buffalos, hawks and deer also count.

If you own shirts that look like these... You might be Native American. (Vincent Schilling)

If you own at least one piece of turquoise jewelry… You might be a Native American

You might have a small pair of earrings or a straight out arm cuff with a six inch oval of turquoise, but no matter how big or small your collection, if you have that beautiful stone in your house or on your person, well, you know.

If you own any jewelry like this... You might be Native American. (Vincent Schilling)

If you have ever posted, plus 1’d, retweeted or liked a frybread meme on social media… You might be Native American

You’ve done it haven’t you, you noticed a funny meme with frybread on it and you couldn’t help yourself. In the midst of your lol-ing, you reshared it. It’s ok, I’ve done it too. There’s no shame.

Ever shared something like this on any of your social media accounts? You might be Native American

If you’ve used the terms Rez, snag, cuz or teepee creep recently… You might be a Native American

We might think the rest of society has a small clue as to what these terms mean, but seriously? No one has the smallest clue. It’s alright cuz, we’re down like that. See you on the Rez.

Understand this? You might be Native American

If you’ve been late and used “Indian Time” as an excuse… You might be Native American

Whether it’s your job or a pow wow or you are standing around with friends, (or they are standing there without you) or there is any situation with someone “late to the party.” When they or you show up… no excuses are made, no reasons given… just the phrase “Indian time.”

Are you ever late because you're on Indian Time? You might be Native American

If your pet has no registration or never been to the vet… You might be Native American

OK, this doesn’t go for everyone, but it is a good possibility for a rez puppy… that gets to go wherever they want.

If your rez pup has never seen the inside of a vet's office... You might be Native American

RELATED: 10 Rez Puppies You've Got to See

If you have an email address with wolf, hawk, eagle, bear, NDN, NDNGirl, N8V or other related blurbs in it… You might be Native American

Well, this one is pretty self-explanatory. The same goes for social media handles.

Does your email address resemble this guy's? You might be Native American

If you have random feathers, sticks, rocks or sage bundles just lying around your house… You Might Be Native American

Didn’t think we knew about this one did you? Well, the jig is up.

If you have at least one Native American painting in your house… You Might Be Native American

This painting is generally what we get mad about if other people assume we are all about the Native guy on a horse sitting on a hill with a sunset in the background. Oh by the way, I’m not just talking about a painting on the wall, I’m also talking about the one you’ve been meaning to hang up for the past year.

If you’ve laughed at any of these or said to yourself, “I gotta share this!”... You Might Be Native American

Gotcha, didn’t I.

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Comments

penfan4's picture
penfan4
Submitted by penfan4 on
This is hilarious. I just used the word "cuz" a few minutes ago because I have SO many of them. I have over 60 FIRST cousins. I think I'm Native American. Wasn't Vincent Schilling on DIY's Renovation Realities. That was a hilarious show. Isn't he Mohawk from upstate NY?

Michael Madrid's picture
Michael Madrid
Submitted by Michael Madrid on
How about: 1. If you point with your lips or chin . . . 2. If you work with leather or know how to braid sinew 3. If you know how to field dress a deer 4. You have a collection of Sherman Alexie, Joseph Bruchac or Vine Deloria books. 5. Your diet consists largely of corn, squash and beans. 6. . . . too many other things to mention in mixed company.

Shabab's picture
Shabab
Submitted by Shabab on
I must be a Native American. When I was a little boy and back then boys played cowboys and Indians: guess who was always the Indian and always won! And, I have a rock on my coffee table. It isn't just any old rock but one I found in a plowed-up corn field (I love corn and beans and squash too! LOL), and this rock is special: it is nondescript except for the rounded out hole in it that must have been used by the native people for...making fire? I live in Sri Lanka now and it was one of the first things to bet packed to remind me of home.

Marie743's picture
Marie743
Submitted by Marie743 on
I thought you might be Native American if you played "cowboys and Indians" as a child and you played the part of a horse.

Wynter Troy
Wynter Troy
Submitted by Wynter Troy on
If you have woken up in the hospital from alcohol poisoning and continue to drink... you might be native american... or a trog haha If you have a dream catcher above your bed... you might be native american. If you are a morning person after a heavy night of drinking.. you might be native american If your skin turns reddish-brown in the sun... you might be native american. If you get along with animals.. you might be native american or the new age dr. dolittle If you know how to start a fire with a stone or a stick.. you might be native american If you have nappy/coarse hair and are not black, you might be native american. :) I love this!

Digi Frennson
Digi Frennson
Submitted by Digi Frennson on
Let's see. I do have several wolf shirts. I know how to make "fry" bread. I have several pictures/prints/wood-sculptures of wolves, hawks, and eagles.. I have feathers all over the place.I have the "Indian Commandments" on my wall. I have a backpack loaded with things for crafting (beads, leather, etc.) I have several sage bundles around. My music collection contains a lot of NA CDs. I own flutes drums, and rattles...

bobbill's picture
bobbill
Submitted by bobbill on
My geat grand ma Had a White Buffalo Robe. She said the robe hade great magic . her daughter who passed as a white women.She became very mad at me trying to find out on what side of the family the White Buffalo Robe was on ? My grandmothers mother was the owner of the robe. My Grandfather who was married to her was an American Indian , 'that would say do not judge a man till you walk in his moccasins. I currently have three pets That never seen a Vet they are named by me Ditsy ,Big Sand crab and their son Little Sand crab. If they see a Vet they call across the valley and fill the area with about 50 crows they mix together then all fly away in different directions! Robert the Protector.

Ganistipan's picture
Ganistipan
Submitted by Ganistipan on
All of this

Michael Madrid's picture
Michael Madrid
Submitted by Michael Madrid on
How about . . . if you don't whistle in the dark . . . your hair is longer than your wife's . . . "vacation" when you were a kid meant camping for a month at a time (and you took very few "supplies").

CajunMetis's picture
CajunMetis
Submitted by CajunMetis on
What is so ironic about this article is that many people, of French Canadian ancestry, may very well have Aboriginal Canadian (AKA Native American) blood flowing through their veins and not be aware of it. I grew up not knowing of my native ancestry because I don't really look native, but in doing my genealogy, I found more than five lines that have a Metis (Mixed blood) marriage. All five are of different tribes. I even discovered an African/Mi'Kmaq marriage. Genealogy is fascinating!!
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