Native Humor: In honor of #Blizzard2016 - It’s So Cold Jokes …
In honor of a massive nor’easter on the eastern part of the United States, in what looks to be a potential historic winter storm - with a meteorologist forecast of up to 25 inches for places such as Washington DC, Philadelphia and New York - we at ICTMN have decided that now is the appropriate time for a round of #Blizzard2016 ‘It’s so cold’ jokes.
In fact, it's so cold at ICTMN:
We have to warm up our computers for half an hour before we can start typing stories…
Tribal elders have told us we are not allowed to go out and report without putting on our Pendletons first…
Our photographers are getting their eyes stuck to their cameras like Ralphie’s friend who got his tongue frozen to the pole from the Christmas Story…
Our executive editor’s foul language is frozen in steam...
Well, you get the point.
Last year, when we reported on Rob Fairbanks' Leech Lake weather report and why it’s so cold in Indian Country - we saw a plethora of hilarious comments from our readers.
See Related: 'It’s So Cold… ' Jokes, Indian Style
This said, here are some funny Native-influenced It’s so cold jokes…
It's so cold the rooster's crow freezes in mid air and you don't hear it till it thaws in the spring. (Maureen Murphy)
It's so cold I adopted two Rez dogs to sleep on my feet. (Michelle Free-LaMere)
It’s so cold I misspelled my name because my pee froze. (Steven Stewart)
It's so cold I saw a wannabe gangster with his pants pulled up. (Cary Lance)
It's so cold I'm bailin' out my Pendleton from the dry cleaners (Nikole Nichols Wynn)
It's so cold...all the neighborhood dogs are stuck to whatever they peed on tonight. (Rey Caban)
From our reader comments section:
It's so cold I woke up with an ice cube in my bed. So I go to the fireplace and threw it in, it went "farrrrrrrt!" (Awfulgoodness)
It's cold enough to freeze an egg on the sidewalk. (Sammy 7)
It's so cold I saw two trees fighting over a dog. (Lea MacDonald)
More of our own...
It’s so cold, we heard reports that members of the Seminole tribe had to wear sweaters.
It’s so cold, Buffaloes were wearing buffalo coats they stole from tribal members.
It’s so cold, we received a press release that the 1491’s AREN’T making a video.
It’s so cold, frybread snow cones are now all the rage on the Rez.
Have more for us? Send us a tweet, facebook comment or comment below - use the hashtags #Blizzard2016 and #SoColdontheRez.
Follow ICTMN's Vincent Schilling on twitter at @VinceSchilling
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