Facebook screen capture
Rob Fairbanks' Leech Lake weather report

'It’s So Cold… ' Jokes, Indian Style

Vincent Schilling
1/7/14

With temperatures in the low negatives all over the country, we thought it would be appropriate to address these issues… Indian Style. We know things are cold, so cold in fact, longhouses have now shrunk to shorthouses, it’s so cold, geese are flying American Airlines, it’s so cold tipis are falling off, it’s so cold Native Cannery’s are serving fishsicles… well, you get the point.

We checked around Indian country directly and online and asked some of the tribes feeling the cold about their thoughts. Here’s what we found.

Carole Ross, the language instructor for the Saint Regis Mohawk Tribe, whose tribal territory is sitting on the New York and Canadian border is currently feeling a -17 degrees with wind chill. According to Ross, her daughters always played the “It’s so cold” game.

Suzy Ross of the St. Regis Mohawk Tribe came up with some good ones.

“It’s so cold the hair froze off my toes.”

“It’s so cold when I turn on the shower, it snows for 20 minutes.”

“It’s so cold we saw chiefs with hands in their own pockets.”

At the Crow Nation in Montana Ben Cloud of the Crow Agency’s newspaper and the receptionist agree,

“It was so cold last week at 30 below zero – this week at 25 degrees, we are having a heat wave!”

Tani Gordon at the Rosebud Sioux Tribes Communications Department also mentioned the tribe is having a bit of a reprieve at 20 degrees today.

“It was so cold Monday at 30 below zero people today are wearing shorts and not wearing sweaters or jackets.” (A true statement)

David White in the Google+ Native American Community gave us a few more:

“It's so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post.”

“It’s so cold my testicles have become ovaries.”

“It’s so cold, the steam off of my head created a war between two Indian villages.”

Colleen O (@Ravensky311) on Twitter expressed her appreciation at not being part of the cold weather.

Perhaps best expressed is a series of Leech Lake Weather reports recorded by Rob Fairbanks on Facebook who expressed just how cold the weather was to his tribe. (We added the “It’s so cold”)

“It’s so cold – Don’t pee outside tonight, it will burn the buckskin right off of your drumstick.” (Leech Lake Weather Report 2)

“It’s so cold – Someone asked me directions to the casino, I couldn’t point because my pointer (lower lip) froze up.” (Leech Lake Weather Report 3)

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Michael Madrid's picture
Michael Madrid
Submitted by Michael Madrid on
I'm NOT a big fan of the cold! I'm glad the Creator saw fit to make me N'De and put me in southern New Mexico where I was literally walking around outside in a t-shirt (with 40 degree weather) while the north and northeast suffered lift-threatening cold.
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