Instagram/Paris Hilton
We guess this is a dog. The one on the right, we mean.

How Did I Miss That? Paris's 'Dog'; Lake Monster

Steve Russell

Paris Hilton added to her fame for being famous when she purchased Mr. Amazing, alleged to be the tiniest Pomeranian in the world at 2.5 inches tall and 11.6 ounces, and fired off an Instagram photo showing the dog in the palm of her hand. Ms. Hilton paid $13,000 for her new friend and has not yet decided on a call name. My snarky cousin Ray Sixkiller suggested “Thirteen Large.”

Speaking of large, an Icelandic “truth commission” has determined that a video back in 2012 did indeed catch Lagarfljótsormurinn, a legendary lake monster, and so the government has to pay out about $4,000 in reward money for the “proof.” Scientists claim the video shows fishing gear caught in a stream that appears to be moving because of the optical illusion created by the running water. Discovery News points out that “monster tourism” is likely to bring in many times the reward paid out. Cousin Ray suggested that the First Nations people up in British Columbia ought to set up a “truth commission” to endorse what they call N’Haatik and the colonists call Ogopogo.

I was thinking that if Scotland had voted for independence from the United Kingdom, the Loch Ness Monster may become their primary economic asset. And, of course, the Six Nations may claim Champ, who is protected by law in New York and Vermont.

Former South Carolina Governor and current Republican Congressman Mark Sanford revealed via Facebook that he has broken up with María Belén Chapur, the woman who helped Sanford invest “hiking the Appalachian Trail” with a new meaning. Through all the trail hiking, Rep. Sanford has retained his evangelical Christian and “family values” self-presentation. He was elected to Congress when he rolled over Elizabeth Colbert Busch, sister of Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report. Busch lacked her brother’s ability to cash in on satire trapped in the wild.


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