No, for the 107th consecutive season, the Cubs won't win the World Series, depsite the prognostication of 1989's 'Back to the Future 2.'

How Did I Miss That? Back to the Future: Indians Ripped Off

Steve Russell

USA Today reported the significance of October 21, 2015. That date was a time travel destination in 1989’s Back to the Future, Part II. It’s the most significant case of a date catching up with fiction since 1984, from the 1949 book where George Orwell anticipated Eric Snowden, or 2001: A Space Odyssey, a date which reminded us that earthlings did not have a research station on the moon (although we did have the International Space Station since 1998). Space Odyssey’s 1968 predictions seemed on the way when men walked on the moon just a year later, but the U.S. backed out of exploring to support the most expensive military on the planet.

Now we depend on the Russians for rides to and from the ISS, which may be good for international harmony but what it says about the U.S. sense of curiosity is as sad as ceding the Superconducting Super Collider to Switzerland. This decline in motivation is an important backdrop to the Back to the Future report card.

The most unlikely thing in Part II, my cousin Ray Sixkiller pointed out, was the Cubs winning the World Series. This year, the Cubs made the playoffs. The Cubbies always succumb to Murphy’s Law in October, and this year Murphy’s first name is Daniel, but an appearance in the playoffs is unlikely enough to require props to Back to the Future. Beside the rise of the Cubs, flying cars and hoverboards are trivial.

Lexus has made a hoverboard and a hoverboard park in Barcelona. However, Lexus has no plans to market the hoverboard at this time and the most scientifically advanced car, the Tesla, does not yet fly.

Back to the Future anticipated biometric identification and life sized holograms, but was too conservative on telephone booths and fax machines—primitive gear almost extinguished by cell phones and email.

Cousin Ray is still holding his breath for self-lacing sneakers while making do with Velcro.

Oklahoma Indians got some time travel in the sense of déjà vu all over again when the Associated Press reported Chesapeake Energy Corporation has been assessed a civil penalty of $2.1 million for practicing the tradition of under reporting the amount of natural gas produced on Oklahoma Indian leases. The royalties due the Indians are tied to the amount of production.

The Department of the Interior had ordered Chesapeake back in 2011 to audit reports for more than 100 Indian leases. Chesapeake claimed compliance in 2012 but additional under reporting was found in 2013.

Cousin Ray seemed distracted. “I was just wondering,” he explained, “what white folks who leased to Chesapeake must be thinking?”

Always time traveling to November 22, 1963, the Secret Service has extended protection to Donald Trump and Ben Carson and beefed up the security detail assigned to ex-FLOTUS Hillary Clinton.

The Donald cited the size of the crowds he draws as a security threat, but something a bit more concrete was threatened in the Twitter account attributed to Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman after Trump commented on his prison escape. TeleSUR, the Venezuelan TV network, reported a rumor that El Chapo has put a bounty on Trump.

Cousin Ray was wondering whether El Chapo could outbid the GOP establishment?

Carson has been getting death threats in numbers not seen since the Obama campaign, and he attributes that to the asinine things he’s said about Muslims. More likely, it’s the same reason as the Obama threats and the same reason Herman Cain was the first candidate to get Secret Service protection last election. White supremacy is alive in the U.S. and as well as it’s ever been.

“There is no truth to the rumor,” Cousin Ray chuckled, “that Carson refuses to release his birth certificate.

CBC reported that Canada’s election of Liberal Justin Trudeau to replace Conservative Stephen Harper means less spending on military hardware. Trudeau promised to scuttle the plan to purchase 65 F-35 Strike Fighters at a cost of $44 billion and to scale back the purchase of Arctic patrol ships from eight to five or six.

Cousin Ray was scandalized. “How will Canada prosecute the war with Iran when the U.S. starts it?”

The Hill reported that Tea Party Rep. Mo Brooks (R-Alabama) proposes to impeach Hillary Clinton as soon as she takes office and before she has a chance to do anything.

“You gotta admit,” Cousin Ray snarked, “it would save time and money to go directly from the swearing in to the impeachment.”

The Hightower Lowdown reported that a Louisiana corporation, Harvest Time Seafood, came up with an inventive way to take advantage of Mexicans in the country on H-2 “guest worker” visas. On the canning line, foremen would squeeze the juice from the crabmeat the Mexicans had extracted from the crab’s exoskeleton, causing it to weigh less. The workers were paid by weight. Before the meat went into cans, the juice was added back in!


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