Jay Christensen/IOS via AP Images
Lack of snow meant that snow had to be imported so the Iditarod could be run. We're guessing these pooches were wearing sunscreen as well as shades.

How Did I Miss That? Hot Iditarod; Oklahoma Shakes

Steve Russell

In Alaska, the Great Liberal Hoax to Destroy America (global warming) is complicating Alaska’s signature sporting event, the Iditarod. Anchorage had to import snow by rail so the mushers could make their ceremonial parade to start the trek to Nome. The New York Times reported that the parade was cut from 11 miles to three because of the difficulty of shipping “four or so inches of dirty snow” for the sleds. The parade on imported snow was just for show.

The Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race actually began the next day, March 6, from the nearest snow cover in Willow, about 50 miles north. Race officials deployed veterinarians at checkpoints along the route with the authority to sideline dogs suffering from overheating or dehydration.

The dogs’ comfort zone is zero to minus 10, but the course has been seeing temperatures in the thirties and forties and much of the snow is left from last year. Some mushers choose to run at night and rest by day for the comfort of the dogs.

It used to be said a silver-tongued individual could “sell ice boxes to Eskimos.” In Oklahoma, we did not know Iñupiat from Yupik but we did know Alaska is cold. Given the amount of snow they had to move for the Iditarod parade, maybe a refrigerator concession in the 49th state would be lucrative.

West Virginia Delegate Scott Cadle passed a bill legalizing raw milk, so he brought a supply of the unpasteurized product and invited his colleagues to toast the victory. Some of those who drank the raw milk quickly came down with fever, vomiting, and diarrhea.

“There is no truth to the rumor,” my cousin Ray Sixkiller asserted, that the bill was called the ‘Schadenfreude Promotion Act.’” A 2012 report by the Center for Disease Control claimed that the chances of getting sick from unpasteurized milk are 150 times greater than from pasteurized milk, but pasteurization (heating enough to kill bacteria) is like vaccinations and fluoridation of public water. Some people don’t believe the science or want to take the risk and consider public health laws “nanny state.”

Delegate Cadle was last in the news when he and another West Virginia Republican spent campaign funds to buy “George VI,” the grand champion steer at the Mason County Fair. Told that George VI weighed 1,335 pounds, Cousin Ray wanted to know if that was before or after they fed him raw milk?

CNNMoney reported that teenager Austin Haughwout inspired the Connecticut legislature to ban weaponized drones after he posted videos on line of his drone firing a pistol and a flamethrower. Weaponizing drones has already been banned in North Carolina, Wisconsin, Oregon, and Nevada.

The National Conference of State Legislatures reported that legislatures in 45 states considered 168 drone regulations last year. Oregon, West Virginia, New Hampshire, and Michigan have banned the use of drones in hunting. “Unless,” Cousin Ray pointed out, “you’re hunting human beings.”

In a touchy situation I’m too familiar with for comfort, a Wisconsin Supreme Court justice appointed by Republican Gov. Scott Walker is running for a full 10-year term. Rebecca Bradley is on the attack against her opponent for voting to give a person convicted of child rape to get an additional hearing.

The conviction withstood the new hearing, but Justice Bradley apparently thought she knew the proper result without having the hearing. Reporting in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel showed the attack ad being run against Bradley’s opponent leaves the false impression that a child molester is running loose.

Now, the opponent she attacked so unfairly has been presented with writings of Justice Bradley in the Marquette Tribune when she was s college student. Her response to the AIDS plague was that “queers” had it coming and people who elected Bill Clinton were “either totally stupid or entirely evil.”

She apologized and said she has evolved. I feel her pain, because I wrote some really “out there” stuff on the other side before I became an elected judge. Is dehumanizing classes of people different or do candidates get a free pass on their college writings?

It would be great if raw milk and old op-eds were the hardest issues facing state politicians, but they have a ways to climb up the crazy tree to get higher than the federal candidates.

Moneybox mentioned that after Super Tuesday Google searches on moving to Canada hit 10-year highs.

BloombergPolitics reported that according to Fairleigh Dickinson University’s tracking poll, Gov. Chris Christie lost six points of his approval rating in New Jersey (33 percent to 27 percent) when he endorsed Donald Trump.

“Maybe,” Cousin Ray snarked, “the six points went to The Donald.”

In another state, the governor intervened in Donald Trump’s Twitter War:

The people of South Carolina are embarrassed by Nikki Haley!---Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 1, 2016.

@realDonaldTrump, Bless your heart. — Nikki Haley (@nikkihaley) March 1, 2016.

This classic Southern put-down shows xenophobes who spent so much effort trying to “other” the woman born Nimrata Randhawa that she is culturally a woman of the South.

The Washington Post reported retired Army Gen. Mark Hertling tried to school Donald Trump on what every GI learns in boot camp: U.S. soldiers must disobey unlawful orders. This casts doubt on Trump’s assurances that the military would follow him because he is a great leader.

Hertling, former commander of Army forces in Europe, said, “Somebody needs to remind Mr. Trump that the military is not his palace guard.” He also backed up former CIA Director Michael Hayden’s high profile dispute with Trump over whether torture works.

Quoth The Donald: “Don’t tell me it doesn’t work — torture works. Okay, folks? Torture — you know, half these guys [say]: ‘Torture doesn’t work.’ Believe me, it works. Okay?”

“Trump knows torture,” Cousin Ray admitted. “His entire campaign has been torture.”

The New York Times quoted John Kasich on his political strategy: “I’m with Harry Potter. We’re not going to the dark side.”

My Republican Cousin Ray, who likes Kasich, claimed Luke Skywalker has a plan to defeat Lord Voldemort. Informed that Lord Voldemort was already defeated, he replied, “See. It worked.”

The New York Times reported that the Nigerian jihadists of Boko Haram are suffering from successful terrorism. They have run farmers off their land and caused cattle drives to be rerouted around their territory. The markets where food used to be sold and traded are closed because there is nothing to sell and because Boko Haram is likely to send suicide bombers anywhere people gather.

The U.N. is shipping food into refuges camps in heavily armed convoys. Boko Haram is learning that when you run farmers off their land, there is no food.

Egypt’s Parliament has voted by a two-thirds majority to expel an elected member, Tawfik Okasha, for having dinner with the Israeli ambassador, Haim Koren. Okasha’s lawyer told The New York Times that the real reason for the expulsion was criticisms of President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi.

Whichever, it doesn’t say much for democracy in Egypt.

Foreign Policy’s Situation Report got leaked a letter from Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl’s defense team to presidential candidate Donald Trump reading in part:

I request to interview you as soon as possible about your comments about Sergeant Bergdahl. Based on your personal knowledge of matters that are relevant to Sergeant Bergdahl’s right to a fair trial. This interview will help us determine whether to seek a deposition order under Rule of Court-Martial 702 or your personal appearance as a witness at the court martial.

Cousin Ray thought Bergdahl’s lawyers were being touchy about Trump’s assertion that Bergdahl should be executed instead of being put on trial.

The U.S. Air Force is getting serious about raining hell on ISIS.

It is unleashing BUFF---“Big, Ugly, Fat Fella”---the B-52 bomber first deployed in 1955 as a strategic nuclear weapons delivery system that got altered to carry huge conventional payloads during the Vietnam War. Funny, when I was in the USAF in the mid-sixties, we did not think the Stratofortress was ugly.

“The A-10,” Cousin Ray laughed. “That sucker is ugly. The official name is Thunderbolt but the grunts call it Warthog.”

Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin has slowly, belatedly come to Jesus on the fact that oil companies have been creating earthquakes by disposing of their wastewater into injection wells.

The Oklahoma Corporation Commission, like the Texas Railroad Commission, is firmly in control of the oil companies it is supposed to regulate and the Corporation Commission’s powers are unclear because it’s always been a friendly regulator. That may have changed when The New York Times reported, “a series of small earthquakes damaged homes and interrupted power in Edmond, an Oklahoma City suburb home to many in the state’s political and financial elite.”

Cousin Ray perked up and asked if Oklahoma might do something about all the quake damage around the Sac & Fox Nation but he quickly realized the only property damage that counts is to white people’s property.

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