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How Did I Miss That? Indian Fighting; Marble Custer

Steve Russell

U.S.  presidential history has given us many Indian fighters. Andrew Jackson of Indian Removal fame is in a class by himself. William Henry Harrison ran on the basis of the Battle of Tippecanoe, which turned the tide against Tecumseh’s resistance.

It’s been a long time since there’s been an Indian fighter on a national ticket. Donald Trump was opposed to Indian sovereignty long before he ran for office and, worse, he actually understands the legal and policy arguments against Indians and how they can be woven together.

Luckily for us, he has begun to display as much hostility toward U.S. sovereignty’s connection with the will of the voters. His disrespect for the custom of uniting behind the choice of the Electoral College has sent his campaign into a death spiral from which it will be hard to recover.

The polls say he’s a goner unless a very big bolt of lightning strikes Hillary Clinton within 18 days.  That raises the question of whether he will go down hard enough to deliver the Senate or even the House to Democrats. Having invested his considerable ego in victory, whither The Donald?

Garrison Keillor mused in The Lincoln Journal Star:

I worry about Donald Trump. What is he going to do? He has damaged his brand. The steaks, ties, home furnishings, fragrances, whiskey, resorts, condos, golf club memberships — when you associate yourself with white supremacy, male chauvinism and invincible ignorance, this is not smart marketing. He can't go back to the Tower. Manhattan is about 83 percent Democratic. Why live among people who don't appreciate you and ride around in a black limo with smoked-glass windows through crowds of pedestrians giving you the finger? It's no way to live.

Keillor pointed out that Trump is leading 2-to-1 in Nebraska.  Combining his popularity in the Cornhusker State with his Indian fighting suggested a move to Broken Bow, Custer County, Nebraska.

He could make Broken Bow great, put marble floors and walls in the public school, put up a marble statue of George Armstrong Custer.

Rachel Maddow reported that the Santa Barbara, California News-Press became the first daily newspaper in the U.S. to endorse Donald Trump.  She also reported paying ten bucks to get past the pay wall so she could find out why.

Turns out they didn’t say why.

The News-Press was last a media story when Wendy P. McGraw bought it from The New York Times Company in 2000.  According to staffers, McGraw began to treat the paper as an instrument of her personal politics.  Publishers do that all the time, but the staff claimed she did not keep politics on the editorial page but was demanding slanted news coverage.

On July 6, 2006, five editors and a columnist resigned. There were subsequent waves of resignations and firings. Circulation fell 9.5 percent over the next year.  The employee count went from about 250 to 25.

The editorial staff won the Payne Award for Ethics in Journalism in 2007.  The editors who quit in 2006 and three additional staffers received an ethics in journalism award from the Society of Professional Journalists.

So you might say Trump was endorsed by what was left of the News-Press.  My cousin Ray Sixkiller wondered if they skipped the custom of saying why because everybody who could write an editorial quit or got fired?

The Santa Barbara News-Press was joined before the week was out by the St. Joseph, Missouri News-Press. The second News-Press did see fit to give reasons.

The Missouri newspaper appears to have bought into Trump’s self-description of himself as having made billions from a “small” loan of a million dollars from his father.  Taking on faith what Trump will not show in his income taxes, the News-Press then peddles the bill of goods that the skills of a businessman are the same as the skills of a POTUS.

How does the association between business and the top political job hold up?

Lawyers, farmers, soldiers, and teachers describe most presidents.  There are a few you could call businessmen.  Warren Harding was a publisher.  Herbert Hoover was an investor.  George W. Bush failed as an oilman but did OK running a baseball team. Harding, Hoover, and Bush 43 were not exactly the cream of the presidential crop.

Reuters reported on polling from the Center for Public Opinion at the University of Massachusetts-Lowell of people aged 18 to 35:

53 percent would rather a giant meteor destroy the planet than that Donald Trump become POTUS.

34 percent would prefer the killer meteor to President Hillary Clinton.

23 percent would prefer planetary annihilation to either.

39 percent would prefer that Barack Obama declare himself President for life.

26 percent would prefer to pick the next POTUS in a random lottery to either Clinton or Trump.

Forced to restrict themselves to reality, the respondents favored Clinton 48 percent, Trump 20 percent, Gary Johnson 10 percent, Jill Stein 4 percent.

Fox News reported that a bus chartered by the Democratic National Committee was photographed dumping waste into a storm drain in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Cousin Ray said that was a perfect metaphor for this entire election.

Trump has upgraded his gold membership card to a black membership card and set the “activation fee” at $35.  The black card has the same benefits as the gold card—none---but signifies you were there to the bitter end. The end is shaping up bitter because the election, Trump claims, is rigged.

Think about that.  Election officials are local officials in fifty states plus the District of Columbia.  (Residents of U.S. territories have no allocation of electors in the Electoral College and so cannot vote in the general election.)  Those local officials answer to state laws and use different methods of counting ballots.

While some jurisdictions do a better job than others, the idea that all those people—most of them currently Republicans---could or would conspire to cheat has never even been suggested before.

The GOP is reaping what it sowed by peddling nonsense to justify voter suppression laws aimed at minorities but sideswiping elders.

Everywhere there has been voter fraud, it has been wholesale, perpetrated by the people running the election.  Cook County, Illinois.  Duval County, Texas.  Voter ID laws can catch retail fraud, but it’s wholesale fraud that can steal elections.  Dealing with wholesale fraud requires legal action targeted at the cheaters.

Trump is telling us we can’t target cheaters because all the election officials from both parties are cheaters.  The system is rigged.

Attempting to rig the election, Madonna interrupted her introduction of Amy Schumer at Madison Square Garden to promise, “If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blowjob--and I am good.”  She went on to say why in NSFW language.

If Trump’s attack on the U.S. electoral system is not a sign of the apocalypse, some academics would cite Bob Dylan becoming a Nobel Laureate in literature “for having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition.” Then there are those of us who remember he’s a poet, we know it, and we’re glad he didn’t blow it.

Dylan, characteristically, has said nothing.  His fans claim but Dylan denies he has been on a Never Ending Tour since June 7, 1988.  At my deadline, the Nobel Committee had been unable to contact Dylan to give him the official news.

WFLA reported that Elisha Griggs was denied service in a Bradenton, Florida McDonald’s because of her service dog, a Pomeranian named Onyx.  Mickey D demanded “paperwork,” so she went back to her car and retrieved a doctor’s note.  The manager refused to accept the doctor’s note and wanted to cross examine her about her disability.  She was finally served after calling the Sheriff.

I spend a lot of time in VA hospitals and I’m amazed at the number of veterans who travel with small breed service dogs.

KRON reported that a man got a 2 and 1/2 centimeter hole in his esophagus from eating a hamburger smothered in ghost pepper puree. Heat is measured in Scoville units.  A habanero is a paltry half a million but a ghost pepper is twice that.  A jalapeño is practically ice cream at 2,500 to 8,000.

When I lived in Wisconsin, I could win bar bets chomping jalapeños.  In those days, things Mexican were so obscure they gave you the hairy eyeball if you ordered a drink containing tequila.

The Chicago Tribune reported that the Illinois Environmental Protection Agency will shut down the last two emissions testing facilities in Chicago on November 1 “to reduce costs and streamline operations.”

I thought this was an attention getting lead and the full story would show something more reasonable than the third largest city in the country having no place to have a car tested.  I thought wrong. The Illinois EPA is serious and they expect to save $11 million per year by grossly inconveniencing car owners in Chicago.

People fond of exotic rock formations like the Bisti/De-Na-Zin Badlands, Navajo property claimed by New Mexico and managed by the Bureau of Land Management, might wish to book a future SpaceX vacation in a similar area photographed by NASA’s New Horizon probe.  The high resolution results are published by Gizmodo and they come from the body formerly known as a planet called Pluto. 

 Cousin Ray, certain there will be a Trump golf course there soon, was composing a letter to the inhabitants of Pluto explaining they have been “discovered.”

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