Native Humor: 'Two Indians Go to Heaven...'


Is Heaven really so heavenly? Sure, it may seem a nice place to retire—lounging on a cloud strumming a harp beats working in a coal mine. But the whole pearly gates scene, where St. Peter looks your name up in a book and tells you what you did wrong, and decides whether you get to meet the boss, a really nice white guy with a big white beard (wait a minute, is that God or Santa Claus?)—is that really where you want to be when your pow-wow days are over?

Ok, so what we're describing is the cliché version of Heaven, which is not how Christians—including our many Native readers who are Christian—really tend to view it. We're talking about the Heaven that you see in cartoons, the Heaven that is the setting for many a joke.

So without further ado, let's put theology aside and get to the joke:

Two Indians Go to Heaven...

Two Indians go to Heaven. Two weeks later, God calls Satan and asks, "You got any space?"

"Why?" Satan asks.

God says, "I have to get rid of these Indians. They keep stealing my angels' feathers for bustles."

Satan says, "Yeah, sure, send 'em down."

Two weeks later, Satan calls God back. "I've had enough of these Indians," Satan says. "You have to take them back."

"Why?" God asks.

"They're always complaining," says Satan. "They say the rocks down here aren't hot enough!"

(The original source or author of this joke is unknown. We found it on Facebook in jpeg form with no attribution.)

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Michael Madrid's picture
Michael Madrid
Submitted by Michael Madrid on
A guy from a mining camp is sent into town for monthly supplies. As he rides into the town plaza he sees an old Indian sitting there wrapped in a blanket. The old Indian looks up, sees the guy and raises his right hand and extending his middle finger. With his middle finger still extended the old Indian points at the man on horseback. The next month the same guy heads into town for supplies and once again he encounters the same old, Indian who repeats the gesture (right arm raised with his palm facing him, middle finger extended - with finger still extended and palm down pointing at the rider). The third month the same man heads into town for supplies and once again the old, Indian repeats the gestures. Finally, the man stops and says to the old Indian, "Look I KNOW what this means (raising the middle finger salute), but what the Hell is this (the palm down, middle finger pointing gesture)? The old Indian replies, "I don't like your horse either."